How Showing Up Matters

In this episode, we interview De Lyssa Begay, an educator who reflects on the profound challenges and lessons learned during the COVID-19 pandemic, likening the experience to the uncertainty of their first year teaching. She shares how empathy, compassion, and a deep connection to land, tradition, and community helped ground them and support their students through unprecedented times. Personal stories of resilience, loss, and the importance of showing up highlight the enduring strength of Indigenous values and intergenerational wisdom.

This podcast shares Indigenous stories of resilience and mental wellbeing during and after COVID-19. Hear from first responders, educators, traditional knowledge holders, and recovery community members as they reflect on challenges, lessons, and culturally grounded healing. Each episode also highlights local resources for Indigenous communities in northern Arizona.

Created by NAU’s Center for Community Health and Engaged Research (CHER) with Hopi and Navajo Tribal members. Funded by Project HOPE.

We would like to acknowledge Dr. Darold Joseph for sharing his beautiful flute recordings with us. It brought a meaningful dimension to the podcast and his artistry is sincerely appreciated.

Resources: https://linktr.ee/voicesnativenations

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hello and welcome to Voices of Native Nations in the Southwest during the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm Melinda Smith, and in this series, we're speaking with community members who stepped forward in unique and powerful ways during the pandemic. These conversations will highlight the lived experiences of educators, first responders, traditional knowledge holders and practitioners, and members of the recovery community from native nations in the Southwest. Their stories offer wisdom, strength, and lessons for our communities and future generations. Today I'm honored to welcome Delissa Begay, an educator from the Navajo Nation. Delissa, thank you for joining us and sharing your story. Could you begin by telling us about your role and your connection to your community before and during the pandemic?

SPEAKER_01: 1:00

Hi, my name is Delisa Begey, and I am a Navajo. My clans are the Bessajine, Black Sheep people, and I'm born for the one who walks around people. And um, my grandfathers are the Torichitni, Bitterwater, and also the Tachitni, the um red streak into running water cleanse. So originally I'm from Rough Rock, Arizona. And so I grew up in a rural part of the Navajo Nation. And I have been a classroom teacher for the past for about 25 years. I started teaching at Chinley High School and went to Many Farms High School. And in the past 10 years, I worked at Rehoboth Christian High School close to Gallup, New Mexico. So I've always been an English teacher. And also here in New Mexico, I taught uh kind of like Southwest Studies with New Mexico history, Navajo government. I've always been a classroom teacher. I've always been, I feel like involved in my community in terms of like working and you know, just trying to guide or facilitate uh with students. So most of my work has been in rural Native American, primarily Navajo schools. And uh yeah, so that that it's always been close to home to me.

SPEAKER_00: 2:16

What did you learn from the COVID-19 pandemic in your role as an educator in your community?

SPEAKER_01: 2:23

It was one of the most challenging times in my teaching career. And you know, you'll you've probably heard this among a lot of other people, but it reminded me of being like in my first year of teaching. My first year of teaching, I was, you know, just trying to like figure things out. And that's kind of that's what it felt like, but this sense of it was a different context, meaning that that first year is like, okay, you know, I'm not worried about people coughing or sneezing. And this time it was just just unexpected in in many ways. It was so um just different and scary. And then working with my students was really empathy, compassion. And also, you know, like especially when we went into um like teaching hybrid or whatnot, there were, you know, yeah, I just it wasn't so much I was worried about the lessons and their grades, but seeing one, where my students were living, and also just like how like interaction with family was going and how much they missed each other. Class would like, in a sense, start and they would just be talking to each other too. And so if anything, I just learned like one, they they really needed that social component. They missed one another. I felt empathy in the sense of, you know, there's just different situations going on with the families and the students, and also just compassion, you know, like everybody was kind of dealing with it differently and prioritizing what was more important, like their social emotional needs, or making sure that they, you know, got 100% on a quiz. And you know, they did well. I can't say like they they we didn't care about academics, but it just wasn't the top priority.

SPEAKER_00: 4:05

The next question is what sustained you during the pandemic in this role? So in different ways, physically, mentally, um, you know, spiritually.

SPEAKER_01: 4:14

Yeah, when I think back to that time, I just think of like when the lockdown first came in. I remember just like feeling so alone because people couldn't go anywhere. That's when they were really strict, especially out here in Navajo Nation. And schools were like my school was just trying to figure out what was going on. It was right at our spring break. And I kind of had this notion because where I come from is so rural that I thought, I'm gonna head back to Roughrod. Nothing gets us out there, you know, like we're out in the middle of nowhere. So I remember going to Walmart, buying stuff, going to uh driving back home and just feeling this sense of like we're we're safe. That's what I thought, because we were so rural. And then within like a week, that the the the big first kind of outbreak was in Chilchimbito, which is only like 20 minutes from Rough Rock, you know? And I was just like, what? You know, so it just um the level of fear and panic was pretty high. And I know like being with my parents and with my family, we were there together, which was was good to know. But at the same time, you know, we didn't know what was going to happen next. And so yeah, and then whenever I could, I remember going out to the trails out here, taking walks. You know, I would try to find places where people just, you know, there weren't a lot of people. And so for me, sustaining that part of connection to the natural world was really important to me. I'm also raised with um just having a very strong sense of um spiritual connection to the world around us. So so there was just that part of like a prayerful life, like just being very prayerful. Um, because again, it's lonely, it's there's a lot of like people aren't sure. So I I prayed for understanding quite a bit. And so I I prayed a lot just because I was worried, you know, about my students, about my family. And then also, even though I I tend to be more introverted, I was longing for um just to be in the presence of one another, you know, and then uh a funny, a funny thing happened. I well, I also signed up for the Northern Arizona University's Dine teacher program. So it was a professional development that was like eight months long. My first time, like just trying it out in a sense. And it was a seminar group where we focused on like writing. And I love to read, I love to write. So I read and write a lot. And this was focused on like developing a curriculum unit that incorporated like native perspective, culturally responsive teachings. And in my case, was redesigning a final exam I usually gave to my New Mexico history class. And it was focused on connection to place. There were about, I think what, eight to 10 of us where we would meet on Zoom for, you know, our seminar groups and stuff. But it was so helpful because it was during those times that we would just like vent and share. So it wasn't just like, okay, here's the the work, you know, of like we have to do our seminar stuff, you know. Um, but we had a seminar leader, Dr. Walker, who was very open. She's like, just talk, just talk. Like we'll get to this subject in a bit, but let's just stop talk first. And so there was a lot of focus on just kind of sharing who we are, curiosity about one another that really helped during that time. I think again, that sense of feeling lonely or disconnected, that was a way of connecting to people. So that was something that sustained me was just having that kind of connection where we could also talk about literature, place, and working on essays that were kind of focused back on us, you know? And I don't mean this in just a like selfish way, but really having me ful reflect on like what made me who I am, who influenced me, like how did the land be part of this? So there was just a lot of time in a sense where I could reflect and think about those um parts of me that that were really connected to family, community, and land and my traditions and my cultures. So so that was really important. So that when they started that um Dinet Teacher like seminar that year, I don't think well, no one had a clue this was coming. And yet that's one of the main things that pulled me through that time. It helped me to also go back into personal writing and also working on poetry and just really trying kind of some different things to uh like different techniques in my own writing. So so it was a time of, yeah, just a lot. What sustained me and kind of kept me going was again like just you know, prayer, having that sense of connection to family, but also kind of digging back into like something I really love, which was writing, you know, and and so I was able to like tap back into that and that kind of kept me going.

SPEAKER_00: 9:25

Great, thank you. So it really sounds like you that connection to land, prayer, family, um, writing and these community events really helped ground you and um to support your work as a teacher. Is that right?

SPEAKER_01: 9:40

Well, when I think about like tradition, my family's history is deeply tied to to the land here and to the space in our history too. That we in the 18 uh 64 to 1868, our people were put in a, you know, we had to march and stay at a place for four years before we were released. And it was in Navajo, we call it the Huf Day, which means the kind of the I've heard different versions, the fearing time. And it was a really gut-wrenching experience. I kind of heard people talking about it when I was a kid growing up, and just that sense of um fear and chaos, confusion. Part of the upbringing that that I had was to be strong, you know, and and not, you know, like, oh, I neglect everything else, you know, but really it was about you had to have the strength, a belief to keep going. And I think if anything, right, I was raised in a uh community, a culture in which that was strongly instilled in us was like keep going, don't give up. And so during the time of the pandemic, that's what I would think about too, is what what what my parents or grandparents had talked about, you know, especially as they got into their elder years about life is not fair, things will happen, you have to keep going, you know, and I think that's one of the uh you know phrases that would come back, which just like you you have to keep going. And as a teacher, you know, someone who was connecting to students who were also, you know, going through this and families, was to keep that going, to perpetuate that teaching and to say, like, we're gonna keep going, you know, we we can't stop, we have to keep like looking ahead. And so I I am grateful, you know, now when I think or reflect just um those types of like teachings where it's like you've got to keep and it's not that you just deny, but there has to be a sense of hope and going forward because we know we still have to deal with the pain of what um this brings as well.

SPEAKER_00: 11:53

Thank you. Yeah, it's um, you know, those stories from our families and communities, it's just a great reminder of the strength and resilience carried through generations and um, you know, um, even in the face of these historical events, um, you know, commun your community held onto its values and identity and ways of knowing. And yeah, that that kind of resilience is incredible and it's meaningful and to hear how it continues to shape and support you today and throughout the pandemic. So we will move on to the next question. And um you did hit on these, um, some of the the points in this question, but um, I'll go ahead and ask it. What were your sources of strength or hope during this time, during the pandemic?

SPEAKER_01: 12:45

Oh, yes. So, as I had mentioned, again, just the cultural teachings I had of growing up in a community in which um, you know, people still practiced a lot of traditional ways and also having parents who who always reminded us of, in a sense, who we are, you know, and that um, you know, I started this podcast with my like my Navajo clans, the Bessajina, you know, black sheep is the translation. Punagotni is one who walks around. That's my mother and my father's people too. So those clans have stories. Those are the stories that my parents started to share with us when we're very, very young. And it again instills in us this sense of like who we are, where we come from, and also just that sense of family and connection. I also when when eventually my you know, my my Yaj, my nephew, came, you know, we were back together, you know. So then it was just me and him here, you know. And he was at that time like what, just a little guy. So he was like three or four and really rambunctious, and there's only so much you can do inside, you know, an enclosed space. So I used to, we used to again find places for hiking or walking, climbing, things for him to do. And he was at an age where he was starting to just, he was fascinated by everything. And it's actually his fascination, his wonder at the world that reminded me of just how incredible the world is, even though things were just, you know, unsure, unstable, unsteady. His wonder at looking like, let's say, at a butterfly was just like, oh, you know, like that reminded me like, gosh, he is so fascinated by this world, you know. And at one point we were walking on a trail, and uh in Navajo tradition, there's um, or in the stories like where I come from, there's a stink bug. And in that when I grew up, they would tell us, you don't just kill like animals or insects just to kill them, you know, because in a sense they're related to you. You can't just kill them, you know, not unless it's like self-defense or something, you know. But for the most part, like even the stink bug, we were told you don't step on it, leave it alone. It's your grandfather, right? And that was so like instilled. And I laugh because I'm walking with my nephew and we see stink bug, and he's like, Oh, you know, and he looks at it and I see him kind of raise his foot so he could, you know, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop. And he looks at me like what? I said, That's your grandpa. You don't do that to your grandpa, and he just looked at me for like a second or two, and he looks back at the stink bug, he looks back at me, that's grandpa, you know, and he's thinking of grandpa, you know, my dad. And it was just kind of funny the way he just was like, That's grandpa, you know. I said, Well, one of your grandpas, you know, and I could see in his like three-year-old mind trying to, what? What does that mean? I said, so you don't bother it, just let it be, let it walk, let it walk away, just let it be. And, you know, and you know, we walk away too, but it's just kind of interesting again, how much like um also, you know, for me, at least having my my my Yaj, my nephew with me, um, helped to ground me too, because it's not just about me, but how my uh, you know, raising him, taking care of him, cooking for him, you know, bathing, reading, you know, and we did a lot of reading and playing and stuff. And I think for me, at least that helped to have that connection and just again, reminder of that hope, like my grandparents used to say, you know, like they're the next generation, you've got to keep going for them. And it's, you know, and I just when I was growing up, didn't think um, in a sense, we would have to use that sense of resiliency or that, you know, because I thought we're not gonna have another pandemic, you know, like we figured it things out in this world, you know, or for the most part, and that's I guess a foolish, um, arrogant side of me, but I just didn't think like we would be in another time when we would have to say, you really, you, you gotta keep going. And it's during the pandemic when it really hit me like, gosh, this is what like my ancestors similar to what they went through was like the sense of you're not sure, you don't know, it's scary. Well, what are you gonna do? Those types of teachings came into play. I think that's when a lot of the memories of what they they shared with us when when we were little really like came to to pass, you know, and I just felt really grateful about that.

SPEAKER_00: 17:43

Thank you. Yeah, it's amazing how being around children, um, especially moments like you were describing with your nephew, just reminds you to slow down and really pay attention and to remember what you were taught as well and to pass that along. That's beautiful. Um so can you share a moment or memory from the pandemic that stands out to you?

SPEAKER_01: 18:09

So, as a parent, you know, as a family member, a community member, how do we keep going forward was important. But also the hardships with my students, especially as you know, we had the initial like, you know, teaching over the, you know, Zoom or or Google Meets, you know, and how much we had to learn, I had to learn along the way. Um, of like when we say one hour of Zoom, does it really mean one hour? Because when we tried it, it was a disaster, you know. I just remember like just figuring things out and realizing too, like my students just really needed that time to process, to talk, to ask questions. And I would tell them, like, you can ask me questions. I'll do the best that I can to answer. But, you know, like I'm I'm really in the same boat, I miss you guys, you know, and just kind of reminding them of that. But as you know, we started looking at the like maybe 2001, the amount of loss when we uh started to do like hybrid or going back to school, and just many of our students, kind of like my nephew, too, you know, are raised by like grandparents or or other family members as well. It really broke my heart, you know, to just hear about the loss of grandparents and parents, like two generations within like two months. And that just was hard, you know. And again, that's just me listening and hearing about this. And I just couldn't imagine for the young people how devastating that was. Yeah, again, just that type of like loss was immense. And I think of another situation where uh again, that in this case, about a year or maybe six months or a year after the parent had passed away, the parent and also I think her sister later too. So it's like the parent and the aunt, or you know, so so two people in this like family. And a lot of the families tend to be very matrilineal. So a lot of like, you know, grandmothers, mothers, and aunties, you know. But in this case, the student, I asked about roughly I'll say a year after the the big, you know, stuff. I told my students, write on a piece of paper, what is it you want to just you wish you could tell someone, but you just can't. You know what you feel like you can't because you don't want to stand out, you don't want to blah blah blah. I said, just write it and fold it up. Don't write your name on it. I'll read it, then I'll I'll just throw it away. So you know someone's at least heard or listened to you. You know, so so the students did that. They they filled out this little, you know, paper, folded it up, and you know, left it as they left the classroom. And I was reading through them, you know, a lot of the kids appreciated their families, their their friends. And but one student wrote, I wish I could grieve more around people. And she put, it's hard to grieve when people say, Didn't your mom say she didn't that COVID wasn't real? And her mom had passed from that. And so I see, and that just like, oh my goodness, it that just tore me apart. Like, you know, so so our students or the people, the young people just they went through a lot, you know, and again, that idea of like, let's say their families didn't believe it, were in denial about it. Some families were, you know, just that sense of maybe shame or embarrassment or something of like, oh my gosh, my mom, because the the parent had, you know, vocally said this isn't real, and yet like a month later passed away from it. And the the children who are the survivors struggled with that kind of um pain. And so again, though those are different experiences. Again, that I just was I felt fortunate that I could just let my students share that. Like, okay, I know I have some people really hurting. So, so compassion, which is something that was an incredible muscle, if you will, that um was really worked out at this time.

SPEAKER_00: 22:22

Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, it really speaks to your dedication as an educator and a part of the community, community. Um, just like learning how to teach remotely and in hybrid formats is challenging enough. But the way you created a space for your students to process the pandemic and their losses so shows such care and intention. So that kind of support makes a lasting difference. So thank you for all your work. The next question is how did your experience during the pandemic impact you personally, professionally, and within your community?

SPEAKER_01: 23:04

For one, I really um connected to like my my home base, you know, my community and whether my community was in Rough Rock, Arizona, right, where I grew up, but also here in Rehobith and Gallup area, having that kind of connection to students and families. It just made me one, again, really look out to look out for especially young people who needed support. For young people, I feel like some are, you know, introverted like me or just don't feel comfortable sharing. Um, maybe they feel out of place. Maybe, you know, what it could be different things, but I do the best I can to um, I guess, personally try to just let them say what they want to. And and then also not take it personally, because there are some instances, you know, where I there were some students who were, you know, really nervous and their nervousness and fear came out sometimes in anger or sarcasm and learning how to like one pick battles or to think like, I can't be that much in your life, you know, like you know, you know, I don't think you really, you know, you're mad, but I don't think that's fully all me. So there's always something else I felt like. And so I when I work with students too, um, to know like that anger or or you know, is usually probably fear or longing for something too. Maybe they miss a family member. Or um, so in that sense, I felt like, you know, I teasingly would, you know, sometimes students who would get mad at me about this or that. I just like, okay, it's not me. But learning how to have, I guess, kind of a thicker skin that way, didn't just have it took time, you know, and maturity as well, at least on my end, and really, I think love too for my my students, my communities. And I think personally, that's something that grew me. And again, as a professional, um, as a teacher, working in that seminar program really just again, one, it just was like a lifelong lifeline to um other colleagues um sharing what was going on. So, so having that commonality, but then on also talking about our practice, you know, like I'm a teacher. How is the unit I'm creating now gonna benefit my students at this time in this place, which is totally different than what I had anticipated when I signed up for that uh professional development. And so it helped me to really explore what is culturally responsive teaching and also to like realign for me one of my assessments in a way that was more that was conducive to what the students were going through. Plus, my biggest thing about realigning this particular assessment was just that students, I figured things out. Their semester, um, the um essays that I received at the end of the semester were just incredible, meaning that it wasn't about me anymore. It wasn't about what Miss Begay likes. It was about, you know, like some of their essay topics had to deal with. Like I can remember a student saying, I'm really glad we spent more time researching or, you know, finding out more about the long walk. And this was a Navajo student who said, like, I used to feel embarrassed about it because the history I heard was that we were subdued and we were taken over. But the way the the different resources that I shared with them and the different assignments we did, they were like, I had no idea we had people who did not go. I had no idea that we had warriors and chiefs who were taking, you know, and it was just like, if anything, it this unit made me feel really proud of where I come from and who my people are. And so when they're talking about the land that they come from, they're describing it, even the school we're located on. Students would write like, This is where like the start of the long walk. It started here. And those types of connections, I was just blown away. Um, a student, she said, my grandfather went to school at this school. You know, she mentions the boarding school experience because that's what it was. She says, My grandfather had a really hard time here because he couldn't speak Navajo and he couldn't, you know, practice his ways. You know, she writes about that, but she says, but also I'm really grateful because my grandfather says he learned for their family the gospel was important to them. But also, like we were able to stay close by. And she's like, and my grandfather made friends and stuff who who've been lifelong friends, you know. I just gave them just like, let's just try this direction. And so it was a it was really amazing to see what came out of them. And it was there. Yeah. So professionally, I felt like uh that helped me to really grow and to really um focus on how to facilitate an environment for students to go there.

SPEAKER_00: 28:04

Thank you. That's really powerful, and it's really meaningful to hear how um your teaching methods and the assignments that you assigned your students um they connected to their family history, their tribe sister, and how that sounded like it really helped them process what they were going through and give them strength. So I am going, we have two more questions left. What do you hope others, especially younger generations, take away from your experience?

SPEAKER_01: 28:39

I really hope that my students, my own, you know, my own family, my own children too, that what really sustained us was um our beliefs, uh, our hope, really. And to to, you know, I I wanted people to be safe. That was always important. And I really stressed that with my students and with my community was like, we need to be safe the best that we can, but also I hope that they were able to see that one. I really tried hard to be understanding. And what I mean by that is just that sometimes, again, like maybe one student's way of dealing with something is maybe by kind of lashing out, you know. I mean, uh, you know, that's not the best thing, but I'm hoping that we can, you know, turn that around, right? But first uh it's letting that student know, okay, I don't, I know it's not me. It can't be me. I can't have, you know, I just can't be, you know, but but to guide. So I'm hoping that students learned uh or witnessed and saw like compassion, empathy, prayer, whether it be, you know, in the traditional sense or even in the Christian sense, but just the sense of a connection to um to something higher or you know, something that's more than they are, and also thinking about stories. Because, you know, I would share with them too, like a really big thing that we can start to learn. I say I didn't start learning till till much later was what's it like to step out of a story? You know, if I'm used to such a story all the time, what is it going to look like if I'm not if I step out of it? And that is a choice I make. What then? And I feel like um I'm hoping that is something that students picked up on, noticed kind of in practice. And to also know what their priorities are too, you know, and and I told them even as we had to start transitioning back into school, we're still going to, we're still adjusting, you know, and and I think I'm hoping that something my students walk away with is just knowing that one, there is there is hope. And even if let's say, you know, some students might feel like, well, I wasn't raised with the traditional teachings or I wasn't, you know, um, it's not just that, you know, it's like there there is a hope, you know, and if you do have the traditional teachings, great, that's my foundation. And I think for my students too, it was okay to know that they come from that kind of foundation. Because I I was teaching at a school that was on the border town. When I first started here, like I remember talking about the kinotta, which is the girls' um, the woman's initiation ceremony. Everyone comes in to help. And the first time I talked about that, kids would balk, like, oh, oh my gosh, you're talking about parents women, you know? And I would just be like, I had that ceremony, you know, like this is what it is. You know, you're just focused on this one part, but imagine all the things that we're doing. And so that was when I first started teaching here. By the time like my last year of teaching, and even probably now years back now, I was glad to hear the young ladies in my class say, I had my kinotta. And they would say it out loud. And they weren't like even around, let's say the boys or whatnot, they were just like, Yeah, I had it done. And then the boys wouldn't laugh, especially like the Navajo boys, or you know, native boys. Some of the kids who are not used to that would be like, What are you telling us? Or or they would look at the guys like, Why, why aren't you like laughing at this, you know? And they're like, because my sister had it, I had to help, you know. So that was, I felt like, okay. I didn't intentionally start that, but I just thought, like, that is so cool that I can see in their posters and in their introductions that they could share that part of themselves and not feel like they could they had to hide it or they were embarrassed about it. But they say, Yeah, I had that done. I did that. I ran every morning. I did that. And just to know, like those are things that, you know, I hope students remember and think about.

SPEAKER_00: 32:52

That's such a powerful message. So you're encouraging younger generations to lead with compassion, to stay connected to something greater and to draw strength from their families and ancestor stories to guide them and to live and practice resilience resilience today. Does that sound right?

SPEAKER_01: 33:14

Yeah. So I feel like those were some of the early lessons, the values that I had been taught and to live out. So um two years ago, I think it was, I got a letter from a student who had graduated some years back, and she sent me this postcard also with her invitation to her graduate master's. And I was like, what? She's getting her master's, like, how long have I been doing this? You know? And um, she wrote this letter that said, in which again, she just said, Um, I'm really glad you were my teacher. She said, you know, and I went to college and yeah, I've been going to college and and I started this master's program, which was stuff like I can remember when she was a freshman, sophomore, furthest thing from her mind, right? And she was just like, when I got into my education courses, they would ask me, What got you into education? Why do you want to be a teacher? What leads you into this? And she wrote, The more I thought about it, you kept coming to mind. She's like, I kept thinking of you, like you show up and you would share, you know, whatever we're our lessons are or whatnot. She was like, So I just want you to know, like you really impacted my life. And, you know, of course I'm like crying, you know, because I'm just like, what, you know, and um just really proud of this student. And the the part that really caught my attention was you showed up, you know, uh, because there were some days that were really hard, you know, like uh sometimes dealing with narrow-mindedness, sometimes, you know, and this and that. Sometimes it was hard to show up, but I still showed up. And I'm hoping that's what like with my with my students, my own children, my own family and community, just show up. You don't know. I had no idea that my showing up it was, you know, going to impact um people this way. And so I think that's that's something I hope again, that um in terms of resiliency and and not to say like if it's a really terrible situation, stay in it. No, no, no. It's just that if it's really meaningful to you, you know, really think about what's important to you. Yeah, that was something that sticks to me too.

SPEAKER_00: 35:37

Thank you. So the final question is what message would you share with someone preparing to serve their community in times of crisis?

SPEAKER_01: 35:49

Show up, you know. I mean, just really like be there the best that you can. Not and I don't mean like you know, put yourself in harm's way, but to know how you can be of service and also to know yourself in the sense of like, I guess growing up, I've been getting to know myself. And for me in that moment, when or when that came to pass, when that came to be, yeah, it really I had to dig deep, you know, and and but but it's not like I had ignored it, it's always been part of my life, but this time I really had to articulate it and share it, you know, and to show what it is, not to just talk about it, but to show it. And I think, you know, showing up is really important because I don't know sometimes the impact that it has, but it does make some kind of impact. I had no idea my showing up every day would influence this young person to become a teacher, to feel eventually loved and respected too, and to be cared for. When I think about um lasting like relationships, again, I'm very introverted person actually, you know. But as a teacher, you know, and as you know, being part of our community, um, I I need to step out because I think as a teacher, we find out kind of like who who we are and what it is we really want to share with our students. So for for me, of course, you know, academics, critical thinking, that's really important. And that's something I really wanted my students to know about and to to utilize, but also to care and to know that we have some kind of that like that history lesson. You know, I was like, think about your, you know, what about your grandparents or family who are in the military? They are part of this history too. You know, we're not just apart from it. We are really part of it. Think of your parents or, you know, if someone, your family works on the railroad, the railroad's been here for almost a century. You are part of this. We're not, you know, exempt from it. So I think as a teacher, it's always just trying to keep kids curious, you know, um, but also for me, connection, connection to land and place and also to who they are. Because I feel like if they are, if we are a little bit more secure in who we are, then maybe hopefully we're not going to be so scared of everything else. That's kind of a hope, that's a value that I have. And I do the best I can to work with that with my students. And sometimes I fail. So that was something that I felt like I guess as teachers, as educators, as people working in communities, is one show up, you know, be there, you know, the the you're we're not gonna be perfect. I'm not perfect, and to just tell students too, like I'm not like tech savvy, uh, I'm not a hip or cool, you know. And so so it was just knowing, I guess, getting comfortable with who I am. And and again, um, yeah, so they've taught me a lot about myself. And I feel like if teachers, when we go in, learning that, but also, you know, definitely it might be like, well, that's all great, touchy-feely, but what about the academics? It's gonna be there. And again, I think of it, I guess, as a deeper type of learning.

SPEAKER_00: 39:10

So yeah. Well, thank you, Delissa, so much for your time and reflections and for the incredible work you've done as a teacher for your students. Your story contributes to a broader understanding of how Native communities responded with resilience, care, and cultural strength during a time of great uncertainty. This is the voices of native nations in the Southwest during the COVID-19 pandemic, and we're honored to share these conversations with you. Thank you for joining us for Voices of Native Nations in the Southwest during the COVID-19 pandemic podcast series. This podcast was developed by the Center for Community Health and Engaged Research at Northern Arizona University with support from Project Hope, a global health and humanitarian organization transforming the health and well-being of communities around the world. For more information and links to resources related to this series, please check the podcast description. Thanks again for listening, and we hope you'll continue to learn from and share these powerful stories.